Aphorisms Galore!

Doug Horton

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

tiny.ag/c3ydou6f  ·  submitted 1997

Thoughts are the gun, words are the bullets, deeds are the target, the bulls-eye is heaven.

Doug Horton, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/8ei71095  ·  submitted 1997

To awake from death is to die in peace.

Doug Horton, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ka7fkx9f  ·  submitted 1997

To buy happiness is to sell soul.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/5r2sagdx  ·  submitted 1997

To hit bottom is to fall from grace.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/zckhxjq9  ·  submitted 1997

We are all serving a life sentence, and good behaviour is our only hope for a pardon.

Doug Horton, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/6wplp1s3  ·  submitted 1997

We may not always get what we want, but surely we will get what we deserve.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/m5vupi74  ·  submitted 1997

When all is lost, ask the I.R.S. -- they'll find something.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/uwjseqdv  ·  submitted 1997

While seeking revenge, dig two graves -- one for yourself.

Doug Horton, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/0ocbsd1l  ·  submitted 1997

Why ask why? If it's raining it just is.

Doug Horton, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/nxpusxd1  ·  submitted 1997

Live to learn, learn to live, then teach others.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dzxgn8lw  ·  submitted 1997

Drive slow and enjoy the scenery -- drive fast and join the scenery.

Doug Horton, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/axfjdopk  ·  submitted 1997

First rule of Economics 101: our desires are insatiable. Second rule: we can stomach only three Big Macs at a time.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/yqo9cx7w  ·  submitted 1997

Good ideas are a dime a dozen, bad ones are free.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/9exonkwl  ·  submitted 1997

Growing old is not growing up.

Doug Horton, in Life and Death and Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/h3ssnixk  ·  submitted 1997

Happiness in the present is only shattered by comparison with the past.

Doug Horton, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/lkeuhfbn  ·  submitted 1997

If food were free, why work?

Doug Horton, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/hjysnvry  ·  submitted 1997

If it looks like shit, smells like shit, mail it to your enemy -- he'll know what to do with it.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/93thhysu  ·  submitted 1997

If wishes were fishes we'd all be throwing nets. If wishes were horses we'd all ride.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/hd1r4yfi  ·  submitted 1997

If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/bggvrf05  ·  submitted 1997

If you love something, turn it loose. If it doesn't come back, kill it!

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism and Love and Hate